http://pg13foruglycast.com Movie Trailers and the Mockery Thereof Tue, 30 Apr 2013 22:17:48 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ http://0.gravatar.com/blavatar/670b2133b8c8ee40c9b1b3a9e5a13bd0?s=96&d=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.wp.com%2Fi%2Fbuttonw-com.png http://pg13foruglycast.com http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/03/02/the-2013-oscars-7-days-later/ http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/03/02/the-2013-oscars-7-days-later/#comments Sun, 03 Mar 2013 00:07:58 +0000 Ben Orlin http://pg13foruglycast.com/?p=1935 Continue reading →]]> http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/03/02/the-2013-oscars-7-days-later/feed/ 0 pg13foruglycast "I just want to thank all the people who believed in me, even when I hit rock bottom, even when I was just... just a fabulously wealthy movie star who'd been getting bad reviews..." Can you spot the most handsome man? (Hint: On the left!) What a goooood little chimp you are, yes you are! I feel comfortable comparing Seth McFarlane to a chimp, because I'm pretty sure that (A) He doesn't read this blog, and (B) He'd be kinda flattered by the analogy. These people won awards for being really good at their jobs. What did YOU do in 2012? http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/02/23/lincoln-titanic-and-why-great-movies-run-too-long/ http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/02/23/lincoln-titanic-and-why-great-movies-run-too-long/#comments Sat, 23 Feb 2013 08:00:29 +0000 Ben Orlin http://pg13foruglycast.com/?p=1899 Continue reading →]]> http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/02/23/lincoln-titanic-and-why-great-movies-run-too-long/feed/ 2 pg13foruglycast Search your feelings; you know it to be true. That hat is TOO BIG. http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/02/18/django-unraveled-scattered-thoughts-on-a-scattered-movie/ http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/02/18/django-unraveled-scattered-thoughts-on-a-scattered-movie/#comments Mon, 18 Feb 2013 19:56:56 +0000 Ben Orlin http://pg13foruglycast.com/?p=1905 Continue reading →]]> http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/02/18/django-unraveled-scattered-thoughts-on-a-scattered-movie/feed/ 2 pg13foruglycast The "D" is silent; the bloodbath is a little noisier. This is just how Samuel L. glares when you tell him to "Say cheese." Samuel L. will say "cheese" when he motherfucking pleases, thank you very much. His webbed fingers represent unity between the races. I assume. Still weighing the metaphorical value of the beard. As usual, preteen girls are fawning over Leo's adorable performance in this film. Temperamental phrenologist? SWOON. I've crossed "Quentin" off of my "potential baby names" list, but added it to the top of my "potential dog names" one. http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/02/10/oscar-nominated-animated-shorts/ http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/02/10/oscar-nominated-animated-shorts/#comments Mon, 11 Feb 2013 04:47:44 +0000 Ben Orlin http://pg13foruglycast.com/?p=1901 Continue reading →]]> http://pg13foruglycast.com/2013/02/10/oscar-nominated-animated-shorts/feed/ 0 pg13foruglycast http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/20/frequently-asked-questions-about-skyfall/ http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/20/frequently-asked-questions-about-skyfall/#comments Wed, 21 Nov 2012 05:26:05 +0000 Ben Orlin http://pg13foruglycast.com/?p=1886 Continue reading →]]> http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/20/frequently-asked-questions-about-skyfall/feed/ 0 pg13foruglycast From personal experience: Whenever I'm lying down and shooting a gun, it's because several things have already gone wrong that day. Why did Bond get on this boat? Plot necessity, of course, if by "plot" you mean "sexual" and by "necessity" you mean the opposite of "necessity." To me, Q will always be an omnipotent being from Star Trek. Original film title: Blonde vs. Bond. Acting skills: probably not why this woman was cast. If Daniel Craig doesn't want me to complain about his craggy face, then why did he pick a last name that reminds me of the word "crag"? Huh? http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/10/argo-is-fun-and-sort-of-historical-but-mostly-fun/ http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/10/argo-is-fun-and-sort-of-historical-but-mostly-fun/#comments Sat, 10 Nov 2012 21:57:48 +0000 Ben Orlin http://pg13foruglycast.com/?p=1869 Continue reading →]]> http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/10/argo-is-fun-and-sort-of-historical-but-mostly-fun/feed/ 1 pg13foruglycast Affleck-loving pirates will now have to choose between "Arrrgo" and "Arrrmageddon." Decisions, decisions. What's more thrilling that going through customs?! I just hope John Goodman ages well enough that he can still star in the Chris Christie biopic in 15 years. The seventies: not America's fashion heyday. (Not anybody's anything heyday, actually.) Man, the CIA headquarters get some lovely natural light in the mornings. Affleck, looking exactly like Tony Mendez does not. Lots of the Farsi in the movie is unsubtitled, leaving you to imagine that what the characters are talking about. Maybe candy? I'm guessing candy. http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/04/the-cold-light-of-day-offers-the-warm-urine-scented-bath-of-familiarity/ http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/04/the-cold-light-of-day-offers-the-warm-urine-scented-bath-of-familiarity/#comments Sun, 04 Nov 2012 18:30:41 +0000 Ben Orlin http://pg13foruglycast.com/?p=1576 Continue reading →]]> http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/04/the-cold-light-of-day-offers-the-warm-urine-scented-bath-of-familiarity/feed/ 0 pg13foruglycast I'm not calling Henry Cavill's character stupid. I'm just saying that if MY dad was Bruce Willis, I'd have guessed he was a CIA agent by about age 9. http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/04/a-blog-returns/ http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/04/a-blog-returns/#comments Sun, 04 Nov 2012 18:19:24 +0000 Ben Orlin http://pg13foruglycast.com/?p=1852 Continue reading →]]> http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/11/04/a-blog-returns/feed/ 1 pg13foruglycast http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/05/06/as-the-summer-begins-a-blog-ends/ http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/05/06/as-the-summer-begins-a-blog-ends/#comments Sun, 06 May 2012 18:37:36 +0000 Ben Orlin http://pg13foruglycast.com/?p=1848 Continue reading →]]> http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/05/06/as-the-summer-begins-a-blog-ends/feed/ 6 pg13foruglycast http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/05/04/the-dictator/ http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/05/04/the-dictator/#comments Fri, 04 May 2012 07:00:41 +0000 Ben Orlin http://pg13foruglycast.com/?p=1799 Continue reading →]]> http://pg13foruglycast.com/2012/05/04/the-dictator/feed/ 0 pg13foruglycast Beard/hair symmetry... the true sign of a tyrant.